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Declutter Even If It Sparks Joy - I try this tip and others from "Goodbye, Things" by Fumio Sasaki

8/26/2017

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A couple of years ago I read Marie Kondo's "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" and it truly did change my life. She is the gold standard for these books for a reason. She makes minimalism simple and relatable. Does the item "spark joy"? If so keep it, if not get rid of it!

It is even a minimal process!  

Goodbye, Things by Fumio Sasaki takes things a step further, saying even if something DOES bring you joy, chuck it anyway lol. He is all about focusing on experiences, not items. He argues that items have outgrown their welcome.

​​Here are my favorite takeaways from his journey! All the quotes are from the book. 

1. We don't have the mental capacity for our stuff

"I used to be a slow computer where you'd see the loading icon spinning on the screen for what seemed like an eternity...I lived in fear of my future, constantly worrying about my career and how others saw me."

I have often thought this. Our brains are 5,000 year old computers, and we can only keep track of so much. The more stuff we have, the more likely we are going to short circuit trying to manage it all. And the more fear we have about being able to manage it all in the future! What stress! Even if something sparks all the joy in the world - is it serving who you are today?
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2. Your stuff owns you 

"I suspect that when we're feeling lazy or unmotivated, it's either because our to-do list is too long or we're surrounded by so many menial tasks that we can't get around to doing what's important."

He mentions how the things in our space talk to us.

You see a sculpture, it says "Dust me," you see a blanket it says "Wash me," you see a fancy dress in the closet it says "Why don't you ever wear me?"

And this goes on and on, wearing us out!

3. A lot of your stuff is for other people

I am fortunate to live alone right now. So all of my stuff technically BELONGS to me. No confusion there. But how much of it is still FOR other people?

​Sasaki points out : 

"My feeling is that minimalists are people who know what's truly necessary for them versus what they may want for the sake of appearance, and they're not afraid to cut down on everything in the second category."

I'll say that again.

For the sake of appearance.

So much of decluttering is about being honest with yourself. What do I want for me? Am I keeping my dining room table so my house will look a certain way to others, or do I really want it??
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4. Your stuff might be making you fat

"Many others have observed this effect by observing that when the things that have been stuck around you begin to move, your chi - the life force that flows through everything - will flow better and you will also slim down."

The idea that minimalism can lead to weight loss is one I have seen in more than one minimalist writing. Sasaki reports that he lost 22 lbs in his own journey from maximalist to minimalist. I can't help but notice that since I have started decluttering I HAVE found my ideal weight. And I am staying there with little to no effort.

I am going to attribute this to a few things:
  • I have more calm and ease around food preparation, since it is now so easy to do. There is nothing cluttering my kitchen. It's easy to batch cook yummy stews and soups to have on hand instead of eating out.
  • I have a well-organized fridge, which makes it easier to see the fresh fruits and vegetables waiting to be eaten, and they look more appetizing.
  • I love my cooking supplies, so I like to use them. 
  • I love my dishes, so I like to eat off them.
  • I also love my apartment, so I like to be in it! I am not escaping constantly, unable to deal with being in my own house during meals. 
  • Snack packaging is ugly and honestly doesn't appeal to me anymore. It's almost embarrassing to admit that I just don't want it around. 

But I also love his esoteric energy-centric view of it. When you (and your ancient brain) are literally holding onto things all the time, afraid to let go, it seems possible to me that we are unconsciously holding onto a lot more than things. We are locked in, holding onto bad habits as well, which could pertain to eating.

And more than that, we know that stress literally affects our metabolisms. Could it be the stress is not from your job or your family or your bad hair day, but from all the things in your way all day?

​This is not something I have the answer to, but it is interesting all the same! 


5. Less stuff means less fighting

"The more material possessions you have, the more energy you need to handle your everyday household chores. You become stressed, then frustrated, and you're likely to want to blame those who aren't eager to help out."

I agree with him so much! Next to money (which is often spent on things!), chores around the house can be one of the biggest sources of friction between couples. While everyone needs to be doing their fair share, what if there was less to do in general?

It's just a fact that the less you have, the more space you have for everything to have a specific home. When things have a specific home, the house doesn't get cluttered as long as everyone returns the item they just used.

Which is easier to do now because it has a real, unobstructed home!

Now all you have to do is vacuum relatively uncluttered floors and wipe down cleared countertops.

So much simpler!  

Postscript: My Own Declutter!

I was inspired by the book and tried using Sasaki's idea that EVEN IF something sparks joy, what if you just don't need it? Actually?? This led to the deepest decluttering I have ever done.
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 I puttered around decluttering with the aim of really reducing for about a week and ended up discarding a lot! About 2-5 items from every category really adds up. Can you imagine all of this was just in the way!!!

Some of these things don't spark joy anymore, but some do. They just don't serve me as much as they could. I have started putting higher scrutiny (to borrow a term from the Supreme Court lol) on what gets to be in my living space.
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Even if it sparks joy!

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One example of something I discarded despite it sparking joy is this antique typewriter. It still sparks joy to see it, BUT it doesn't work, and when I bought it I thought it would. Also, it is taking up space where I could display my record player, which I would actually use if I could see it! My 5,000 year old brain cannot remember to play records if I can't see the player!

Talk to us!

​Do you have just too much stuff to do the things you want to do? Are you willing to let go of something that sparks joy?? Let us know what you parted with on Instagram @tidyfairyla or follow our page on Facebook for scintillating conversation on tidying ;)
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Happiness Increased by Decluttering; Gretchen Rubin Agrees!

5/13/2017

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Who doesn't want to be a little bit happier?

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   I certainly do. That quest for increased happiness is what led me to hire Gina Novish (ImpactStyling) to save me from my closet, which led me to Marie Kondo, who taught me that I have a skill and passion for decluttering, which led me to becoming a Tidy Fairy! It's also what inspired me to pick up Gretchen Rubin's book, "The Happiness Project".  It's a delightful read about her personal journey to increase her own happiness through measurable, actionable, daily steps based on ancient wisdom, scientific research, pop culture (and of course, advice from friends).  
  I didn't pick this out thinking that it would have anything to do with tidying. And yet, there it was; in the very first month of her Happiness Project. I just can't escape my love of decluttering. (Who am I kidding though; I was so excited to discover this portion of the book! HashtagNerdFeels)


"Toss. Restore. Organize."

  Her first month was all about boosting her daily energy. As a part of that task, Gretchen decided to get her house in order, citing her own personal experience of feeling her energy drain as soon as she stepped into her cluttered home, as well as research that suggested that eliminating clutter would cut down on the amount of housework by 40 percent (let's all do less housework! Hooray!).
  I can absolutely identify with that feeling of coming home after a long day out, and feeling so depressed at the sight of piles of stuff on the counters, clothes on the floor, "junk" everywhere...it's not a relaxing or welcoming environment to return to. It used to zap whatever energy I had left at the end of the day, leaving me to defeatedly fall into bed with some junk food and junk tv, without even the strength to wash my makeup off. (Denial, even if it's just of messiness, takes energy, ya'll).

"Make a list, do a little bit each day, and stay calm."

  Gretchen came up with her own tidying advice that I just love, and I had to share a little with you!  I'm not going to get into everything; you'll have to read her book and/or check out her fantastic blog.
  I'd like to share with you how she breaks down clutter into manageable categories, all of which have pretty clear and simple solutions.
  She came up with 8 great types of clutter that people are likely to fall prey to:
  • Nostalgic Clutter "relics I clung to from my earlier life".  Goodness, did I have a ton of that. Sheet music, scripts, more sheet music, programs, cast shirts, character shoes, tap shoes, jazz shoes...all of which I had not had any use for in over a decade! They were gear that was necessary for the girl I once was. But those things are not a part of my life today.  I've purged most of my theater stuff at this point, save for a few highly sentimental scores, pictures, and a few videos. I'm happy to have the memories. I don't miss the gear at all.
  • Conservation Clutter "things I've kept because they're useful - even though they're useless to me."  Yes. Why did I need enough dinner wear to throw a party for twenty when I don't really like to have more than one person over at a time? Because silverware was still "useful". No. Donate now.  Why did I have five vases? Three basically identical strainers? Four sets of playing cards? You get the picture. If it's still useful but you aren't using it, give it to a friend in need or have a yardsale or DONATE IT. Tomorrow.
  • Bargain Clutter "results from buying unnecessary things because they're on sale." I didn't suffer from this exactly as I don't much like to shop, but pretty much everyone I know has run into this one from time to time. Things can look real exciting when they're sitting in the dollar discount display, only to lose their luster when you bring them home and find you didn't really have a need (or a place) for them.  There is also a very real adrenaline rush experienced by many people when they feel they have found the best deal on an item, or been able to bargain for a great price.  Ultimately, I feel the psychic cost of a home laden in clutter is not worth the temporary high of bargain hunting.
  • Freebie Clutter "the clutter of gifts, hand-me-downs, and giveaways that we didn't use." This one. This one was me. For sentimental reasons as well as poverty fearing reasons, most of my clutter came in the form of things that I got for free. For example, Marlane has been throwing clothing swaps for several years now, where a bunch of us lady friends get together and trade clothes that are still in good shape but just don't suit us anymore.  I always made out like a bandit. I would walk in with one grocery bag to donate, and walk out with four hefty trash bags full of new-to-me FREE threads. It was just too fun and too tempting. But I ended up feeling overwhelmed by the amount of bargain(FREE) clothes I was bringing in, and would end up just shoving them in my closet and saving them for "someday".  Lesson learned. A simplified closet = a happier me on the daily. I still go to the swaps, but don't take home more than I bring to donate.
  • Crutch Clutter "the things I used but knew I shouldn't." Guys...holy underwear. That's some crutch clutter. A 12 year old festival sweatshirt stained with paint, fraying at the sleeves, that's four sizes too large...crutch clutter. In the immortal words of Elsa "Let it GO! LET IT GOOOO!" (And by let it go I mostly mean really let it go...into the trash. I don't personally advocate creating waste in your quest for a clutter free life, but NO ONE needs your holy underwear/socks/sheets/etc.)
  • Aspirational Clutter "things I owned but only aspired to use." SO many craft supplies fell into this category for me. I don't have kids, I'm not in school, and I'm the poster child for pintrest fails. I just wasn't ever going to knit or crochet or learn to needlepoint or any of it. Nope. In real life, I'm much more likely to go play outside with my free time then to stay at home and craft. So I let allll of that go. Although I am currently looking at two guitars that I can barely play, so perhaps there is more for me to do in this category...
  • Outgrown Clutter "the flipside of aspirational clutter." Unframed posters that used to hang in your high school bedroom. Plastic picture frames (possibly with no frames) that you once loved but now will never use. They aren't paying rent & it's time for them to move on.  And finally...
  • Buyer's Remorse Clutter "rather than admit I'd made a bad purchase, I hung onto things until I somehow felt they'd been 'used up' by sitting in a closet or on a shelf..." I think we've all been there. It's okay. You made a bad purchase for you. Don't let sunk cost keep you trapped in the oppressive energy of a house cluttered with things that just make you feel guilty. Do you have a friend or relative who might love or could benefit from that purchase that wasn't really right for you? Offer it, or give it as a gift. If it's so bad it's good, it could make a great white elephant gift. Or yard sale it. Or donate it. But don't surround yourself with items that make you feel bad.


"Junk attracts more junk. If you clear it off, it's likely to stay clear."

  Gretchen's book is eminently quotable and full of great advice (and not just about tidying!), and I'd highly recommend it.
   I love that at the end of the day she came to the conclusion that additional storage solutions were not necessary to free her from clutter. All she needed were two trash bags - one for throwaways and one for giveaways.
  I also loved her epiphany that by decreasing the amount of clothing in her closet, she actually felt like she had much more to wear! I feel exactly the same way! We all want to feel we have exactly the best stuff for us to wear in our closets, and decluttering actually gives you that. It may seem counter intuitive, but it really does work! 

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Could you use this categorical awareness of clutter to conquer your closet? A cabinet? Or a drawer?

Try it out! Hone in on one category and see if that inspires you to free yourself from things in your home that don't bring you joy! A little bit of decluttering goes a long way toward improving your energy, boosting your mood due to feeling productive, and improving your relationship to material things!
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    Marlane & Heather

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